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2:59 A.M. — I took a nap earlier so that messed me up and now I’m wide awake. I’ve been on YouTube watching videos of Justin Timberlake because if you know me, he’s my number one idol next to Michael Jackson. This whole week I’ve been self-motivating myself. I’ve been buying a bunch of books and magazines, listening to podcasts and interviews and getting inspired. I admit I am struggling right now. I don’t want to work at my job. I want to just photograph fashion and create content that I love. I’m pushing myself to continue to follow my dreams. I treated my mom to brunch earlier to stop nagging me to finish college.

I want to be a successful fashion photographer, I want to shoot fashion campaigns. I want to work with the high end brands, travel, make a difference in people’s lives with my works, I want people to know me. I want it so bad. I’m not about all talk, I will make it happen. I will continue what I started. I know people think I fell off track and I hate that some people I’ve worked with doesn’t see me the same as their level. I will prove to every one and to myself that I can do it. I will make my dream happen, and I’m tired of every one telling me that I’m almost there. I JUST WANT TO BE THERE.

I’m not going to be afraid of surpassing my peers anymore and feeling bad. I’m not going to be superficial just because I want to get to where I want to be or because that’s just how the fashion world is. I am me, I’m the most honest person ever and I don’t know how to lie. That’s just not the person that I am made up to be. My parents always raised me to respect people, and I might not like you but I have to still give respect.

My mind is going wild. I want my dreams to happen. I will make it happen.

Thank you to Ulysses for dealing with my random rants and how I am.

Thank you to Joseph and every one else for just being there when I need them.

I want to be able to provide every thing that my mom wants in life even though she always sees me like a criminal. (She’s traditional and I’m rebellious.)

So expect more work from me and see me reach the top.

I want photography Justin Timberlakeย and know my name.


  1. ulysses ulysses

    I’ll deal with whatever you got, because I know we’ll make it. Keep the motivation, use it and we’ll get there. It’ll be great and there will be waffles.

  2. JT has been my love since the curly, bleach blonde hair days. Way to have a positive attitude towards your dreams!!!

    • swaagcaat swaagcaat

      Thanks Adrienne! I appreciate you checking out my blog ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Mel Mel

    Love this post Joan! You are such a hard worker and Jess and I both admire your work ethic. Keep pushing it and we have no doubt that you will be on top ๐Ÿ™‚

    • swaagcaat swaagcaat

      Thanks Mel! <3 appreciate it :))

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